It took around a week to re-acclimatise to normal daily life after returning from holiday. I had already pressed the panic button at least once - pleading with my wife to allow me to get the cleaner in twice a week because I couldn’t keep up with the vacuuming - and was on the cusp … Continue reading Chapter 13: Letting go … and allowing myself to belong →

Riding less often has been challenging. Like trying to wean yourself off a highly addictive drug, perhaps? You know you really should try not to take it so much, but the feeling that you get from it is like nothing else. I find this drug particularly addictive as it is the only thing that enables … Continue reading Chapter 12: Doing > Being > Becoming > Belonging →

Since being formally introduced to the bear known as “hemiparesis” in Chapter 7, I have been making an effort to get to know him better. Four months on, I certainly feel like I understand much more about him - though I would still rather we had never met. As of the end of June, I … Continue reading Chapter 11: The Goldilocks Principle →

So, off the back of the findings from my previous post - not to try so hard to find a solution to my challenges - what do you think I have been doing over this last period? That’s right - pushing on, trying to find a better answer. Predictable, if nothing else. Buoyed up by … Continue reading Chapter 10: Embracing the bear (but not too often) →

You may recall that back in Chapter 6, I set myself the goal to be more instinctive - both in the activities that I seek out, as well as how I do them - in the hope that it would help me to find a way of living that is not quite so exhausting, cognitively … Continue reading Chapter 9: The conductor (bear?) and the orchestra →

With a significant proportion of the world’s population currently in some kind of “lockdown”, many people are experiencing new and unwelcome challenges - from the denial of their usual freedoms through to loss of income, illness - and of course, ultimately for some - loss of life. As we have all struggled to adapt to … Continue reading Chapter 8: The tortoise and the bear →

Over the last 18 months or so, my physical condition has deteriorated. Walking has become increasingly difficult – when my brain is tired, my legs feel like they belong to someone else and I have difficulty controlling them. When my brain is particularly fatigued, my legs feel like they are “full up” with fluid, with … Continue reading Chapter 7: A different kind of bear? →

There are so many people who have helped me over the last 3 years and deserve my thanks. Unfortunately, I have forgotten most of their names! Only kidding - but I do know that if I try to name them, I will miss some out, so best that I leave it there. They know who … Continue reading Acknowledgments →

Over the festive period, I had relatively little planning, information processing and decision making to do - just interacting with family and playing the odd board game, interspersed with frequent breaks to rest the brain. That made getting back into the swing of things after Christmas all the more difficult. I had got out of … Continue reading Chapter 6: Making the bear work for me →

Whilst I had observed several positive developments in the form submitted to my income protection provider, I had also been quite surprised by how little I was doing each day. Somewhat predictably perhaps, over the next couple of months I found myself trying to find a way of fitting more into my day. I tried … Continue reading Chapter 5: One more go at beating the bear (November 2019) →